A historic day for Science!
Science has issued an official announcement that a new “Plastic Coating” layer will be added to the model of the Earth’s composition. Previously consisting of the Inner and Outer Cores, Mantle, and Crust, the additional Plastic Coating marks the human race’s contribution to the planet like never before.
“Since starting to mass-produce plastic products we’ve created an astounding 8.3 billion tons [of plastic]! It preserves incredibly well and we estimate 6.3 billion tons is still in existence today.” remarked a leading Scientist. “A common comparison for the amount of plastics produced thus far is approximately 1 billion African elephants. This example doesn’t give a clear idea since there are only about 400,000 of those elephants left in the world today. To give you a better picture, 8.3 billion tons of Lego bricks could cover the Earth’s surface 16 times over. If that doesn’t qualify as a plastic layer, I don’t know what does!”
“8.3 billion tons of Lego bricks could cover the Earth’s surface 16 times over.
If that doesn’t qualify as a plastic layer, I don’t know what does!”
While we hurriedly fill our landfills and oceans with this ever-increasing bounty, we can take pride in knowing the impacts of these hardy polymers are not just on the surface. Some species of insects, like sea skaters, are already adapting and using floating debris as a #safeplace to lay their eggs. With an abundance of locations to choose from their population is positively booming. As more wildlife is exposed to these materials, more micro-plastics and chemicals are being integrated into the food chain itself. Many animals that consume the products do not survive, but those that do will pass any biological effects up the food chain. “It’s only a matter of time before these compounds fully integrate into the systems of larger predators, ourselves included.” gloated an Ecologist.
“Environmentalists (…) simply don’t have the support needed to make a substantial impact.”
It is estimated at the current rate of production, by the year 2050 there will be more plastics filling the oceans than fish. When we asked the scientists if actions by environmentalists might threaten these numbers the response was a hearty chuckle. When asked to elaborate, a lab-coated lackey explained, “Environmentalists have a lot of hard work ahead of them if they are going to make a dent in what has already been produced, nevermind what will continue to be produced. They simply don’t have the support needed to make a substantial impact.”
To obtain your complimentary laminated diagram of the new official composition contact your local municipal office today.
~JD on behalf of Cruciferous Satire publishing.
Resources:
https://www.dw.com/en/there-are-83-billion-tons-of-plastic-in-the-world/a-39765670
https://sciencing.com/plastic-trash-affecting-ocean-food-chain-12143.html
http://worldelephantday.org/about/elephants
https://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/humans-produce-billions-tonnes-plastic-1.4210279